Today’s Joy Notes is “NEVER TAKE THE BAIT” The Baiters purpose is often to validate their own power, redirect attention away from their insecurities, or destabilize those they perceive as threats. By eliciting anger, frustration, or self-doubt, they gain satisfaction and a sense of superiority, feeding their need for dominance.
Baiting is a tactic used by those with malicious intent to provoke, humiliate, or control you. It might be a rude comment, a backhanded compliment, or an attempt to embarrass and bully. The goal? Toxic people use baiting in various ways. They may throw out subtle insults disguised as jokes, make inflammatory comments, or create unnecessary conflict. They thrive on your response, especially if it aligns with their narrative of you being “difficult” or “unstable.” Their goal isn’t resolution but entanglement—pulling you into a reactive state where they can control the dynamics. But when you’re confident and self-aware, you recognize your worth and refuse to stoop to their level. You rise above.
Here’s a personal example:
Yesterday a whirlwind of time for shopping in Paris—a thrilling yet expensive adventure. At one of my favorite designer stores, I spotted the perfect piece for an event. A sales assistant approached. I smiled and said, “Good morning.” She looked me over with disdain and replied, “This is very exclusive and expensive. Are you here to pick up for one of our clients?” Mind you, I was dressed head-to-toe in items from their label, purchased from that very store.
Without missing a beat, I responded, “Goodbye, Madam,” with a radiant smile. As I turned to leave, she snapped, “It’s Mademoiselle!” I walked out without acknowledgment. The doorman, with a knowing look, opened the door and whispered, “You are magnificent” (all in French). That moment? Empowering. I explored fresh designers, left with an amazing haul, and felt triumphant.
Three Tips for Handling Baiting:
1. Pause and Assess: Recognize the bait. Don’t react impulsively.
2. Respond with Grace: Stay calm, composed, and confident.
3. Walk Away: Sometimes the best power move is to disengage.
Remember, your worth is not up for debate. Vive la France!
The List – The Great Nina Simone
To Be Young, Gifted and Black (1969)
Four Women (1966)
Feeling Good (1965)
Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood (1964)