Have you ever come to a sudden realization that everything in your life feels flat? Things are not necessarily going poorly, but they aren’t going great either. They are just going.
If so, you may have wandered into the comfort trap, a time when “steady as it goes” has become your mantra, maybe without you even being aware that this has happened.
While stability and comfort are generally seen as positive, they also can lull you into a false sense of security that you don’t even realize you need to escape from. When you are too comfortable, you are unlikely to push yourself and to grow in your career, in a pastime, or in your life. Growth usually requires risk, and for many people, risk is anything but comfortable. Their default setting is to avoid it whenever possible.
The Cost of Comfort
All in all, when you are at your most comfortable, you are most vulnerable.
When I look at my life, I remember my 30th birthday. I woke up that day on top of the world, thinking that life could not be better. Then I went to get my physical.
I answered what seemed like standard physical questions, not thinking much of it. That quickly turned into “Let’s do an MRI, just a precaution.”
I tried to get out of it, stunned by the suggestion, but the doctor insisted we do it right then. I hadn’t even had a chance to ask what they were looking for before I was guided to nuclear med.
I walked in, saw the face cage, and finally asked, “What is that for?” They needed an MRI of my brain. After an insane, anxiety-filled experience, it was over, and I was heading to my car to go to my birthday party. Then my doctor called. “Can you come to my office now?”
In that moment, my life was spun all the way around. I found out I had three brain tumors and a small aneurysm.
That’s what comfort won me. Of course, being comfortable does not mean that your health will blow up. But, in my case, that comfort, the complacency, left me unprepared for change and the possible opportunities.
That’s why I try never to stay comfortable. I constantly challenge myself to make my spider senses crisp and agile, which is how I avoid springing the comfort trap.
Not Too Much Stability, Not Too Little
Certainly, stability makes life easier in many ways. As you become well-trained and a veteran in your job duties, you finish tasks with less difficulty because you have done them so many times before. On a personal level, life becomes a series of routines that require minimal thought. You watch the same TV shows, eat the same meals, shop at the same stores, and drive the same route to work, church, or the gym. Not much stress is involved.
If that sounds good and you are inclined to welcome the contentment, beware. Danger lurks because even as we embrace stability and allow the comfort trap to ensnare us, the world around us is changing. If we aren’t prepared to adapt, we risk being left behind in our jobs, our relationships, and other aspects of life.
Comfort certainly shouldn’t be abandoned entirely. No one wants constant disruption, where every moment feels like a test of your will, your intellect, and your endurance. A study in 2023 determined that people need to feel at least a moderate level of safety and comfort in their jobs to perform well. However, that same study showed that an overabundance of safety and comfort leads to the opposite: decreased performance.
It’s easy to imagine that careers can stall as a result.
Time for Action
To determine whether you have fallen into the comfort trap, take inventory. Is your job no longer challenging you? Do you feel like you are doing things by rote? Are others around you moving into better jobs or getting promotions while you remain in place? Does your personal life feel stagnant as well? Are you experiencing the same old, same old every day?
If so, it’s time to take action.
One way to jumpstart your escape from the trap is to consciously shake up your routine. This first step could be as simple as taking a walk to clear your head or altering your habitual activities.
However, an even better option, perhaps especially for those who work remotely, is to seek community. Being around other people energizes us.
Reaching out to others also gives you the opportunity to tell your story and hear the stories of others, allowing you to realize that you are not alone, that other people are going through the same things you are.
When we open ourselves to others, we can also feed off each other’s talents. We are able to work collaboratively. We are more receptive to new ideas and ways of thinking, which in turn gives us the inner strength and motivation to break free from that comfort trap.
This sounds easy enough, but it’s not always so. One problem people encounter is that we are taught self-reliance and that reaching out to others is a weakness. As a result, sometimes we isolate ourselves. We live on our individual islands, and we may have lost our ability to socialize with others and, in terms of business, work well with others.
Mentoring and Being Mentored
Yet another way to break free of the comfort trap is to find a mentor, someone to talk with who can help you set and achieve career goals. The right mentor can help you discover the skills you lack and advise you on how to develop them.
In a similar vein, consider serving as a mentor to someone else. The very act of assisting another person in their career journey can revitalize your own ambitions. I’ve served as a mentor, and one thing I discovered is that, often, just the act of getting them to engage and communicate with you is more important than the topic you will speak about. Once they engage, the topic usually gets resolved easily because they already had the answer. They just needed someone to validate their thoughts and give them permission to move forward.
All of these things, finding a mentor, being a mentor, seeking community, breaking out of routines can help you escape the comfort trap and open up new vistas in your life and career.
Because as enticing as comfort might be, it’s also a pernicious enemy to the growth we all need in all aspects of life.